Artie Lange - Dancing with the Stars

So Artie didn't show up for work again this morning. He's been pretty good lately and claims to have been on the wagon since Christmas eve. If any of you have read his book Too Fat to Fish (fantastic read) you will know that he hasn't been the most truthful with the Stern audience.

The question remains, is Artie 'dancing' or is it a case of the Swine Flu? I guess we'll have to wait until Mondays' show to find out.

In the meantime, if you live in the Hoboken, NJ area (Artie's hometown) Crumbs bakery will be giving away free Artie Lange Cupcakes to the first 1,000 customers on Saturday May 2, 2009.

Harpo the Hippo (Oprah)

FRENCHBORO, Maine — Only a few dozen people call this remote offshore island home. For a few minutes this week 'Oprah' will speak to the residents of Frenchboro via Skype because if she went over there personally, the island would probably sink.

I've been to the State of Maine and have to say it is probably my favorite of all. Everyone is very down to earth and the atmosphere is second to none.

Oprah who is the poster woman for narcissism feels like she can connect with the people of Maine, a place that she's never even been before nonetheless.

Maybe on the next episode we can get the very slim Dr. Phil to speak to the children of Bangladesh about weight loss.

RIP - Bea Arthur

Although I'm far to young to remember Bea Arthur's past work on the Golden Girls which she became famous for, her stand-up performance on the Pamela Anderson Roast a few years back was pretty funny for an old dinosaur. She takes Pamela's new book at the time and starts reciting it line for line embarassing the shit out of Pam. Even if you don't think it's that funny it's worth watching just to see Pam in her see-thru top. =)

Check out the video... RIP Mrs. Arthur

Roast of Pamela Anderson - Bea Arthur Roasts Pam's Novel Movies & TV SPIKE.com

Free Chicken at KFC (PFK in Quebec)

It's about time KFC does something about their disgusting chicken. All day today they're offering free chicken, I could imagine the lineups already. All you fat Oprah watching bitches finally have a reason to get out of your ass groove on your disgusting couch. Here in Canada we have $2.00 Tuesdays and you should see all the assholes lined up out the door! Good luck out there.

As for the Quebec Government, you guys are idiots. KFC is a brand and is not to be translated to Poulet Frit Kentucky (PFK)

You Might Be Rich (or an asshole) Dateline NBC

“You Might Be Rich” is a Dateline NBC segment where that first aired last August, helping return almost $2 million lost dollars to average Americans. In the new rendition of the segment NBC News reporter Tiki Barber and his team, which includes NBC News’ Peter Alexander, and MSNBC’s Tamron Hall, find unclaimed property that is waiting in the state treasuries to be returned to the rightful owners.

Are you guys fucking kidding me?? I guess I shouldn't talk because the sole reason this blog exists is to try and make a couple bucks. But still. Who in their right mind thinks that they have a piece of land that they forgot about and now all of a sudden can claim their fortune?

Well anyways if any of you wackjobs think that it's your lucky day, here is the database for each State http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30375542/ (sorry Canadians...we don't get shit)

Good luck!

And Tiki, put down that fucking microphone and get back to doing something you're good at - like football perhaps?

Who?? Oakland Raiders grab Michael Mitchell ?

The Raiders swapped second-round picks with the Patriots, moving down seven spots to pick Mitchell at No. 47 and adding a fourth- and sixth-round pick to go with their three other picks today. ... The Raiders last picked a receiver in the first round in 1988, when they took Tim Brown sixth overall.

Who is this guy?? Maybe the Raiders know something that we dont. This guy wasn't even invited to the NFL combine. They also picked up Heyward-Bey who was the fastest receiver at the NFL combine, running the 40 in 4.3 seconds. These moves will ultimately make the Raiders brass out to be geniuses or just narrow minded speed junkies. Looking forward to how this pans out.

Blackberry Test

This is just a test blog to see if I can actually do this from my blackberry. If so...this would be really badass.

Lost's Henry Ian Cusick sued for sexual harassment

I can't believe this is the most searched for topic of the day. I've never watched the show lost so maybe that's why I don't give a shit. Cusick allegedly squeezed and placed his face on the plaintiff's breasts, kissed her on the mouth, and caressed the back of her body while making moaning sounds. Now if the allegations are true she has every right to nail his ass as sexual harassment is one of the few things I have no tolerance for. But I guess what they say is true, any publicity is good publicity. I might just have to watch Lost now.

Read the full story here from TMZ

Speaking of TMZ, here's a quirky little fact for you. The great wisdom of my favorite comedian Artie Lange (the Howard Stern Show) a few weeks back revealed that he knew what TMZ stood for which I had no idea. Apparently it stands for "thirty mile zone" which is the 30 mile radius in Los Angeles where all the television and film studios are located. Bet you didn't know that!

First Blog

This blog is based on on Google's daily Trends© where I will post my unpolitically correct comments based on the days most recent searches. I'm very opinionated so feel free to blast me and make it interesting for me.